Love isn’t free.
You pay its price with your heart.
Love by Numbers #6
June 13, 2017
I’m sorry for your loss.
Why do people say that?
When someone you love is taken from you, when a part of you dies along with them, you haven’t lost them like you would your car keys or mobile phone. They aren’t stuck down the side of the sofa or left in the ignition of your car for you to find later. You haven’t absentmindedly put them somewhere and forgotten. You will never lose them because they live in you.
The soul crushing hurt that burns your lungs with every breath you take comes from knowing where they are and not being with them.
The ugly and real definition of grief is being left behind.
I’m sorry they left you.
I’m sorry you are alone.
I’m sorry it hurts to breathe.
Loss; it doesn’t even compare.
She was my first love.
She is my last love.
I am an empty husk who pretends to be filled with enough love for those of us she left behind.
Our little girl and newborn son need me.
I am both mother and father now.
I am hollow and empty.
I am a shell.
So why does the girl with the face of an angel and eyes that mirror my emptiness, look at me like I’m her everything?
*Book #6 in the ‘Love by Numbers’ series. Can be read as a standalone.*
Also Available in the Love by Numbers series
*NB: Books one and two are a duet, and should be read in order. All other books in the Love by Numbers series can be read standalone.
ES Carter lives in Cardiff, South Wales. The home of castles, dragons and folklore.
Her family joke that she was born with a book in her hand, and the urge to write stories soon followed.
At eleven, she won her school’s literary prize. At ages fourteen to sixteen – her poetry phase after falling in love with Dylan Thomas and e.e. cummings – she had a few poems published, but life, love and family overtook her dreams, and she was in her thirties when she began the scary journey of self-publishing.
Her debut and internationally best-selling series, ‘Love by Numbers’, are a set of interconnected stand alone romances, all with varying themes of love. From second-chance to romantic comedy and M/M romance. These stories do not need to be read in order, in fact, she is often guilty of advising readers to start at the last book and work their way back through.
Contemporary romance is not the only genre she writes, her second series, ‘The Red Order’, is as dark and twisted as you can get, but there is beauty there too if you can open your eyes and look.
With many more stories bursting to be set free, she hopes you stay along for the ride.
She loves to connect with readers, so please feel free to friend/follow her on Facebook, IG and Twitter or join her reader’s group, E’s Elite ❤